Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Oh Christmas Tree.

I'm covered in glitter and very tired, but that's what I get for staying up 'til 1am.
(The tiredness, not the glitter.)

Usually, as soon as we hit December the Christmas tree goes up, as do the decorations.
But as my parents are going away for a few days tomorrow... here I sit, covered in glitter, having decorated a Christmas tree a little earlier than usual. The baubles were shedding glitter as if they'd just been made.
And glitter spreads like wildfire... but that's fine. Glitter is accepted, especially at Christmas.

The tree looks a lot better than the photo. I promise.

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Tuesday, 29 November 2011

November In Review.

November is to be over very soon, just one more day left; Which means it's even closer to Christmas and even more closer to the new year (!!).
So it's about time I sat back and pondered about December and filled my head with memories of November.

November wasn't the greatest of months this time round. Often, it's pretty good. Autumn, the cold weather is here, close to Christmas and the end of the year... I'm usually pretty excited and happy.
But there were a lot of... moments, I guess, in November that I didn't want to happen. Some that I could've prevented and some that maybe if I thought them through, it wouldn't of hurt as bas as it did.
But I can't undo those things now.

November has the most family birthdays, about 4/5. Including my mum's and my niece's.
My niece turned 5 this month! I've seen her grow up so much this month & I'm so proud of her achievements at school.
She really is incredible.

I made a promise to myself at the start of the year, that I'd travel at least once every month - which is usually not a problem considering the amount of gigs I go to. But I made a promise to myself, just to remember.
There were a lot of ups and downs... and more downs this month which meant I put off all thinking about going anywhere and at points, I just didn't want to go anywhere. So, not until yesterday, did I go somewhere.
I went somewhere familiar and nearby, but it was worth it nonetheless.

Something else to remember about this month is that I started this blog (!!)

Other lovely things that happened this month include:
Re-igniting my unicorn obsession, planning the redecoration of my bedroom, sitting in a park full of 
Autumn leaves & a whole lot of writing.

November was quite boring and uneventful, to be honest.
But above all, it was emotional.

I'm looking forward to December, snow (please) & Christmas, now ♥

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Monday, 28 November 2011


Have you ever felt like you look like sh!t? Like, actually 'feel' it. 
I felt like that today. But that aside...

There's been a lot of Autumn moments. But today... today was Autumn.
The crisp Autumn air, walking through piles of leaves, sitting in a park for over an
hour with someone that's content with just sitting with you.

I didn't take any photos, while I was out. But for once, I don't regret that.
I needed that. I needed today to happen the way it did.
It was perfectly imperfect.

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Sunday, 27 November 2011

The Week in Review - [21/11/11]

The Week in Review
[21/11/11 - 27/11/11]

It's probably completely visible and obvious that I still haven't gained any inspiration...
And it's Sunday, so you know... there's no chance today will be inspiring.
Though, I just realised I have like, two posts I thought I posted but actually saved as drafts instead.
Typically uninspiring Sunday's aside, I've decided to take a look back on the week...

My unicorn obsession reached new heights when I bought unicorn shorts; I bought
pastel (Or as I see it... 'unicorn coloured') nail varnish and my nails were the girliest they've ever been; I dropped my main eyeshadow brush on my bedroom floor and it disappeared into thin air; I bought train tickets for a somewhat unplanned adventure (tomorrow!); The bandana came out of hiding; I done a lot sitting in the centre of my bed reading; I got a new journal... the cutest journal ever; I started doing a sketch a day, but failed a couple of days...

There was excitement, butterflies came to nest in my stomach for a while and there was a lot of downs.
And I made my first decision about the new year.

The Week in Instagram...








Instagram: fayheather

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Saturday, 26 November 2011

Happy Birthday, Sophie ♥

Dearest Sophie, Happy 25th Birthday. Due to the intolerance of others you aren't here to celebrate it.
But may you look down on us celebrating in your honour - We will light up the web.
A light of hope, that in the future, people will accept others for who they are.
That people will learn being different isn't something to be frowned upon.
A message of hope that screams 'We are proud to be different'.

"We only want to be ourselves"

May you rest in peace and never be forgotten.
Bless you, dark angel.
Happy Birthday.

Find out more about Sophie & Support The Sophie Lancaster Foundation:

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Friday, 25 November 2011

Santoro Love.

My new journal came in the post this morning - getting post two days in a row = this girl is happy
It's by Santoro and it's called 'The Runaway' so I basically had to buy it...
It's probably the cutest journal I've ever had... and the smallest. But all the better for fitting into my bag. 
I wanted a new journal because there's just some things I'd rather put in a journal than my little golden
book. The little golden book is for my writing. About adventures, musings and things I have to write to
remember. It's personal, there's no denying that. But not 'journal' kind of personal.

It's kind of  nice to have the option now, to write in the journal or the little golden book.
Sigh. Stationary makes me way too happy.

I checked out the website (Note: I didn't buy it from there though) of the company that made
the journal - They have some amazing stuff!
Like a 'cats in bow-ties' collection (!!) - which is basically my two favourite things, put together,
then put on stationary...
You can almost hear my account balance decreasing.

Aside from stationary they also sell bags and canvas art!
I kind of want all the art to put on my walls ♥ 

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Day #3

[A Sketch A Day] - Day #3 / Heart Skulls.

Americans must of thought I was an b!tch yesterday. Spreading so much hate, full of spite and hatred.
Raining on their beautiful thanksgiving parade...
It wasn't purposely done, yesterday just went rapidly downhill & I have a habit of destroying everything in my path.
The end of the day was just as bad as the start - I couldn't sleep, I ended up doing a sh!t sketch of the day at some unholy hour and wrote many spiteful entries into my little golden book.
But it's better off in that book or on here... or pretty much anywhere other than my head.
Writing keeps me sane. 

I hope you had a good Thanksgiving - if you celebrated it - I can only apologize if you got
in my path...

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Susie - The Icarus Account

Starting the day right... with a new song from The Icarus Account.
My love for them is indescribable.

Their new EP comes out on Tuesday (29th)
Youtube | Facebook | Purevolume | Merch | Twitter

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Thursday, 24 November 2011

Blinded by hope.

I seem to have a growing problem with being happy that others are happy.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean 'general' people - I mean, people that were in
my life, until they lost interest and drifted away or the ones that chose to just
walk away.
I can't seem to be happy that they are happy, maybe it's because that means
they're happy without me in their lives.
They're over it.
I guess I've always had issues with letting go. Givng up. Walking away. Forgetting.

I should've given up a long time ago, but there I go, sending her messages,
make believing we still have a friendship. And when she replies, eventually, it fills me
with hope - how naieve - and so I reply. But I have to send about 3 messages and
several reminders and hints to her before she bothers replying. Before she remembers.
She has more issues than I can comprehend. But that didn't stop her being a 
friend for 4 years. Why stop now?
The remains of our friendship are still there. There's still some light at the end of the
tunnel. But often it feels like I'm stuck in the middle of the tunnel & knowing, slowly I'm 
blinding myself by looking into the light.

I guess you could say I've been blind to a lot of things.
And blinded by some too.

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Missing: Inspiration & Imagination.

I think someone stole my jar of inspiration. Because I couldn't find any today.
I'm completely and totally uninspired.
On this uninspired, average Thursday all that I really done was pick up my train tickets from
the station. 
Being uninspired is kind of 'worst case scenario' for me - everything I love doing involves being inspired.
My imagination didn't want to come out to play today either... It's F#!ked off with inspiration, I think.
They're having an unwelcome day off. They're probably hiding in a corner laughing at my stress levels.
That's my view on it, anyway.

P.S - Pixie has taken up guarding the unicorn shorts.
P.P.S - I added an 'About Me' page. I'll make it better in time, but like I said... Uninspired.

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[The Little Golden Book - 23/11/11]

I'm not really one for staying in bed or not wanting to get up. I'm an early bird.
I like to get up, open my curtains, observe the weather and greet the brand new day with open arms.
But that's kind of hard when the sound that you woke up to was your parents arguing.
It's hard to greet the day with a smile when it's already filled with conflict.
I don't want to go downstairs and risk becoming part of it.
I'm self destructive, but not that much. Not today, anyway.

I guess I have to remind myself that it's better than it used to be.
It's all too familiar though. I don't remember a whole lot of my childhood, but the sound
and memory of my parents arguing is the clearest memory of all.

Every night my mother would take me up to bed, read me a story and sit on the end of the bed
until I fell to sleep.
But if she was having one of the many arguments with my father, she would send me upstairs and
I would wait. When she eventually got round to me, it wouldn't be the same.
Too young to understand why, but old enough to know something was wrong.

They tried their hardest to shield me from the conflict. As a kid I went around knowing and telling
everyone my parents never argued. I was proud. But it was all a lie.
They could only hide it for so long. I got older, I listened, I noticed.
I got used to the sound of conflict.
I grew up and referred to my house as a 'war zone' because that was the way it felt.

Is it any wonder I hate arguments? That conflict gives me a heavy heart...
Now I'm the one pretending. And hiding.
Sure, it's better now. They have stupid, petty arguments rather than hateful, destructive ones.
But it's still conflict.
And an all too familiar scene...
Just like back then. Always sitting in my bedroom, waiting for the battle to end.
But searching for my own shield this time.

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Wednesday, 23 November 2011

A Sketch A Day - #2

Horrific. Handwriting.

Day #2 - Unicorn

Mid way through it wasn't looking so good, but it turned out a lot better than I thought
it would.
I do have, somewhat, of a unicorn obsession right now. I like to think it's always been there, hiding,
but now it's just decided to burst out.

Unicorns aside... Christmas! More importantly, Secret Santa (!!)
I'm taking part in what is possibly the best idea ever.
A Secret Santa between bloggers!
{Melina} left me a comment the other day and invited me and so I thought I'd check it out
and I think it's an amazing idea.
You can find out more about it over on {Only A Flight Away} or {Famous In My Own Mind}

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I got unicorn shorts in the post this morning. (As if I could love getting post more than I do already...)
I bought them online from Topshop a few days ago. Instantly, of course. There was no thinking. They had unicorns on, why would I think twice?!
* Subconsciously collecting things with unicorns on*

I associate pastel colours with unicorns, for some reason. Pastel pinks & purples especially.
So I painted my nails and I'm kind of in love with the colours ♥ 
The fact that they remind me of unicorns is only another plus.
Also. I wore cupcake socks.

This was probably the girliest day of my life. If we're being honest...

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Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Goodnight. [22/11/11/]

I like to write at night.The night is quiet, take away my mothers current cough and my cat pouncing on whatever, and it is perfect.
For writing at least. It makes me want to do 'goodnight' posts.
The best writing I do is done in silence, because my head is clear (well, somewhat) and
there are none of the distracting sounds that happen during the day.
I can think about the day and perfectly construct it into sentences.

Typically, my life is pretty average right now. As ever. It's up to me to change it, I know.
But we won't go into that, because that's a whole new chapter.

It was just a another average day, really. A slight break in routine, involving make up.
I spent almost the entirety of the afternoon listening to Travis... sometimes I have these moments of
just wanting to sit and listen to one artist. That happened today.

I managed to drown the voices, the arguments and everything completely out for the first time
in quite a while earlier this evening. I managed to forget the hurt. And be content.
If only... just for a moment.

I'm content. Not happy. But I'm content.

Tomorrow doesn't have really any plans. 
I'm hoping to buy train tickets for that adventure to a familiar place I was talking about.
November is slipping away. And I have promises to fulfil.

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Slept in my make up last night; I do this too often. Little did I know I had no form of
make up remover left, until this morning... but fine.
I spent half my morning - when I say half, I mean 'entire' - in yesterdays make up
that was probably rubbed various times by my hands during the night, making it a little worse.
Obviously, this doesn't really matter. The only part of me that makes it matter is that feeling I get when I've done my make up in the morning. It's like war paint to me... once it's applied, I'm ready for the day. 
That's the end of preparing for my day: Wake up > Breakfast > Make up.
So I had to spend the morning feeling somewhat empty and out of place.
I washed my hair and waited for my mother to come back and save the day.
Normal terms: 'come back with face wipes' 
It's a rarity, but I didn't put eyeliner on today. Just mascara & bronze eyeshadow.

For some reason, I seem to have this desire to take photos before I've dried my hair...

Yesterday's make up; Wet hair.

The dried untameable mane.

I've been inspired to take up a sketch a day, again.
We start, today, with a Robin.
I'm fond of them and the little burst of colour on their chests.
I f#!ked up the feet and it's a little misshapen... But there it is, sitting on the first page of
my newest sketch pad.

And you get to see my horrific handwriting too...

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