It's day's like today, filled with noticeable bad habits, that makes me want things to be simple again, like they used to be.
I want to lay in silence on my bed and just hear music play. Or sit on the floor and read a book. Silence.
I want silence. Like before.
To shut my laptop down, spend an entire day away from it. Hide all technology, (music players excluded), somewhere out of my reach (and that's not hard). And just... be content in silence doing the above.
Silence was my enemy when I was younger. I hated it with a passion.
I could get into a fight with the open air in a silent room.
When I was left alone with silence, it made me think. It forced my brain to kick into action and come up with something to fill the silence. But I only filled my head with unnecessary thoughts.
Cons not Pros. Negative not positive. Bad memories, bad feelings, bad thoughts...
I was just incapable of thinking of good things. And to fill my head up with dreams, conversations
and adventures - like I do now - that would probably never happen but made me happy for that moment at least.
My imagination is a good place. Like an old style sweet shop on a cloud floating above a world where pain doesn't exist and only the good people live. Safety. That's literally what my imagination looks like.
Too bad I didn't use it until later on in my life.
Now silence isn't so much my enemy, more of a distant friend, that lives on the other side of the country.
I want to visit that distant friend. I actually want silence sometimes.
But silence is harder than you think. There's always something... a hum of electric, a drip of a tap, the sound of my parents tv downstairs or heated conversation. If it's not sounds coming from inside, it's outside.
Cars, distant sirens, children terrorising each other, footballs hitting walls and windows.
Natural sounds aren't so bad... like rain hitting the window, wind blowing leaves around and bird song.
I only find (almost) complete silence at night, when I'm desperately tired, when it's dark and I'm only interested in getting some sleep.
But that doesn't mean I can't turn everything off, hide away for a day and appreciate the silence that is available in the four walls of my bedroom.
Sometimes I just want to step out of cyberspace for a day and appreciate simplicity.